Not making a decision is a lack to commit. Are you in the game or are you sitting on the sidelines?
In early 2009 I remember reading a quote in a book that said, “Not saying YES to what you actually want means you’re ready to say YES to anything else.”
That’s why I chose to kick my decision making skills into overdrive in 2009 and improved dramatically at it. Here’s how I did it…
The Two Major Blocks To Decision Making
I first took a look at what was holding me back from making decisions, and settled on two major reasons.
Answer this. Think of a time where you had to make a decision, let’s say picking a movie or to go somewhere with friends… what sort of feelings do you get coming up inside of you?
The noticeable feeling I had from that exercise was that I was worried about offending people. I didn’t want to seem pushy or too aggressive, and that feeling made me always let other people make decisions.
I decided to test this excuse – I gave myself a week to just try being extremely decisive and see what came of it. Turns out, not only did I not offend anyone, but most of the time, people would happily go along with what I suggested. Interesting…
The second major block to being decisive is clarity. How clearly do you know what you want?
Is there an option that aligns more with what you want in your life? This works even with minor goals. For example, let’s say you want more adventurous experiences in your life. Hanging out with friends is a perfect time to suggest going paintballing over going to watch a movie for the third time this week.
Same thing with big goals. Are you spending time on the important things that mean a lot to you, or the trivial things that waste your time? Knowing what you want will let you make far better decisions.
A Mindset Shift
Realize that you’re never going to have perfect information. It’s a rare day where you’re going to have all of the puzzle pieces in place, and a clear picture of the situation. You need to make decisions on the fly and without second guessing yourself.
So start getting comfortable with this fact. Start saying YES to things where you would be trying to search for more information. Start giving yourself permission to make a few mistakes while you work on your decision making muscles. It’s okay, the world won’t end .
The Decision Making Muscle
I look at making decisions as a muscle. If you were an out-of-shape decision maker before, time to shape up. Here’s the thing: You’re not going to be benching 300 pounds your first day back.
Start with the small decisions, and get used to quickly choosing and giving your answer. Choosing your food at restaurants, picking a movie to see, picking a shirt for the night – these are all simple practice chances perfect for building your decision making muscles.
Once you’ve seen all the possible choices, you can give yourself a time limit. I typically do 30 seconds – I give myself 30 seconds to umm and ahh, and then after that, an answer needs to come out of my mouth, no questions asked. I’ve often noticed that no matter how much additional time I end up giving myself, it really makes no difference as to how well the end choice turns out.
So the next step is to try it – notice when you have a choice or decision to be made, and push yourself to make it faster or make a decision that aligns with what you want.
Like me, you’ll probably find yourself doing more things that you actually want to be doing, instead of just going along with the flow of things because you have flabby decision-making muscles.
